What took me a long time to learn this lesson was that I did not get into Astrology and Metaphysics until my mid-thirties. Now, the song Lonely Boy, has a new meaning with regard to the line:
"But all I want is someone to love"
That someone is primarily myself (spiritually), and that enabled me to love others. As I’ve mentioned in other posts, I have Saturn rising square my Sun, a heavy karmic aspect requiring that I learn the lesson of self-love. There a quite a few planetary placements that can indicate low self-esteem or self-love, such as afflicted planets in the first house, or an afflicted Sun. Also, planetary combinations that indicate emotional wounding, unfulfilled desires, and a tendency towards anxiety can also reveal a low self-esteem.
Perfect faith in oneself allows an individual to rise above any trouble.
I don’t think we easily perfect our lessons, and if I do get anxious I try to rise above it by facing the Sun (an emblem of the Collective Spirit) and say:
"I am a part of the Collective Spirit. I am indestructible. I am eternal. I am infinite. That which is finite and part of the world of matter cannot touch me."