It is also quite important to consider what is called relationship qualification. This is an individual's capacity for a relationship. Here we are dealing with the level of self-esteem or self-love that a person has or reveals. Simply put, how can a person truly love another if there is no love and respect for the self. This is not the vain, narcissistic appreciation of the surface self, but the true love that is deep within and revealed outwardly--which is a spiritual love.
A very common lesson that many of us have during our physical lives is to learn self-love. To understand and learn this, we must often endure rejection. This is when we are subjected to teachers and parents who will verbally abuse us, put us down, state we are not capable, etc.
Once we learn self-love and the more spiritual we become, the more we can associate with others. To understand a person's primary relationship needs and desires, we need to first examine how the energies of the Moon, Venus, and Mars vibrate.
Chart Comparison, or synastry, is the result of placing one person's chart over the other. One simply places the charts so that the zodiac signs line up. Most software places the primary person (Person number 1) as the inner wheel, and the planets of the partner's chart (Person number 2) on the outer circle or wheel.
The Sun forms our conscious sense of being, which includes the ego. The Moon represents instincts and feelings. Women generally identify more with lunar qualities than men, who tend to be connected more to solar traits. A Moon with squares and oppositions may depict people with emotional karma and emotional problems, which can sometimes be quite erratic, especially if Uranus is involved. The Moon also represents balance from the mother. At times we may even act like our mothers without our knowing.
Stress on the Moon from the Sun can create restlessness and fluctuations in close relationships. Beneficial aspects induce balance and emotional stability. A Moon stressed by Mercury can produce nervous tension & excitability, whereas a benefic aspect can provide common sense and fluent communication. Clearly, examining the natal chart is just as important to gain a greater understanding when dealing with synastry.
Individuals who have Cancer planets, 4th house planets, Cancer rising, water Moon, Libra planets, 7th house planets, Libra rising, and Libra Moon, are more likely to be insecure and unclear. It is not surprising the rulers of these signs are the Moon and Venus, so aspects to these planets play an important role. Many of the more stressful aspects to the primary planets in a natal chart can reveal this loss of self-esteem, particularly where they have a relationship to Jupiter, Saturn, Pluto and the other outer planets.
Some of the first things to check in a synastry chart is the Ascendant, aspects to it, the descendant, and the seventh house. Look to those houses where your partner's planets fall. See how the interchange of energy is described by the planetary aspects, remembering that the wider the orb, the weaker the effect. If you have, for example, 7 degrees rising, you may notice that others with whom you feel comfortable often have the same degree of rising. It does not have to be the same zodiac sign and indicates a spiritual bond. There may be conflicts in certain relationships with respect to lifestyle, but such conflicts are often lessened through this aspect. You may find that the trine and sextile are the most powerful.
The sign on the seventh house cusp of your chart will indicate the type of person you are consciously looking for. If you have Cancer on the 7th house cusp, you will desire a nurturing, sensitive individual. Planets residing in the 7th house will modify this portrait. The seventh house is the area that most astrologer's focus on, as this is commonly known as the relationship house. While the sign on the cusp of the seventh house and planets in this house indicate what a person is looking for in a relationship, there may be karmic factors elsewhere in the chart that color this effect. We should not forget that the seventh house is opposite the first house which forms the personal axis. The first deals with our projected personality and the seventh with the personalities of close friends and partners. Aquarius on the seventh house cusp of a person's chart might indicate the need for a more open relationship, but not necessarily sexual. Saturn in the seventh house may show that a person is attracted to a Capricorn or it could indicate a seriousness in relationships and contracts.
Another important house is the fifth house because this is the house of entertainment, love affairs, role-play, and drama. The fifth/eleventh house axis is the social axis. The fifth deals with our personal enjoyment and responsibilities, and the eleventh deals with the larger social side (including social consciousness). The eleventh house tends to be important, especially if a partner's primary planets fall here. This tends to enhance friendliness and social activities.
As the planet Jupiter opens up opportunities, the transits of this planet through the first or fifth house are often periods when love affairs predominate. The first tends to be more creative, while the fifth is more playful. If there is a lot of fire in a person's chart, the fifth house can enhance the desire to conquer another.
The fifth & eighth houses are both related to sex--playful in the fifth and intense in the 8th (particularly if Scorpio is on the cusp and also if Mars and Pluto fall there). On a higher level, the eighth house can reveal the urge for a kundalini release in sex. For some, this energy can provide a healing role.
Other houses will obviously deal with the life initiating patterns they represent. The second house, for instance, concerns personal values. If a partner's Saturn falls in your second house, you may feel that your personal resources are either restricted or consolidated by this person. However, it may depend on how Saturn's vibrations are affected by both charts.